Resolving Interpersonal Conflict

In a small island, there lived John and his sister Mary. On the island, family and societal bonds were very important. They were both raised by their parents to be very respectful of family members and cultures. At the age of 15, John went to settle England for studies and for better prospects in the future. He came back regularly once a year for vacations. Meanwhile, Mary, who was married by then, took care of their parents on the island, helping them as they grew older. After 20 years, John was very successful and made a lot of money.

However, being exposed to a different culture for so long, he had also lost the values and respect that his parents had taught him. He became arrogant and thought that his perspective on the world was more modern than those who had stayed back on the island. He even imposed his views and ideas on his own parents.

His behaviour infuriated Mary, who still had a sense of values and respect. Being older than him, she talked to him and tried to reason with him not to treat their parents in that way. John got even angrier at Mary. Who was she to tell him what to do? They soon started arguing about who was better and who had made the right choices.

It is now 5years since they do not address each other. Very small details can sometimes add up to form a big irresolvable dispute, don’t you think?

The Importance of EFFECTIVE Communication skills..for me

In my years of school, be it at secondary level or at university, I have had to assume positions of responsibility, as I still do. Two years ago, I was Welfare Director of an NUS Student Society. As soon as I got into this position, I knew I was in trouble. My first attempts to communicate with members of the Society failed miserably. At first I thought it was because there was a general disinterest among the members. But, through feedback I later received, I learned that it was in great part because I did not know how to approach the people.

In my way of communicating, people often perceived me as either being arrogant, condescending or plain rude, even though it was far from my intention. I have tried to change that many times, but with little success. If in university I cannot communicate properly with the people I work with, then how would I fare in the working world?

During my internship those last three months, I have faced similar problems. Some of the workers even thought I was a manager at the company, so much I gave off an air of arrogance. Good you might say? Surely not! I haven’t been able to make good friends at work because of this. I have experienced it first hand: if you are not friends with your colleagues, doing a simple job gets complicated.

Being at the doors of the working world, I find it most important to sharpen those communication skills before plunging into this storm of relationships.

Having your way with words is one thing. Using them to communicate effectively is a whole other matter.